Are there things that men feel like we women just don’t understand about them? I wanted to find out. I asked a group of my guy friends from different ages, locations, and backgrounds and they say absolutely! Here are a few things that they told me that they wish women knew.
You’re Not Listening
Several of my male friends agree that when a woman has a problem and wants to be heard a man must listen, but when a man has a problem she may find it unimportant. They said “It’s her way or the highway, but sometimes she is wrong!” The men explained that it feels like it’s almost as if because he is a man he isn’t allowed to have feelings, and if he does he shouldn’t voice them. I was surprised to hear this because I don’t think having that feeling Is exclusive to gender. I think both men and women have trouble with communication these days. We live in an age of wanting everything to be convenient, instant, and needing minimal effort. We don’t want to have to work in order to communicate better as a whole. I personally think that women feel the same way about this one.
They Want To Learn From You
I have heard women say that they want a man that they can learn from, but the men say that they want a woman who they can learn from also. Intellectual men don’t want to teach all day. No intellectual person wants to just teach all day. A friend of mine says that he will never be happy because he will never find a woman who can both challenge him mentally and who he finds attractive enough to be intimate with. Intellectual stimulation can be as important as physical intimacy for some people. Intellect is not the only determining factor in a love relationship. There has to be physical attraction, trust, and many other things, but intellect is important. It’s not enough to carry on a conversation and piggyback off of what was said by your man. A person who is attracted to mental stimulation and bettering themselves will not be there trying to enlighten you for very long.
Malcolm X said “Once your work is finished, don’t watch the television. Once your work is finished, find something constructive to add to your mind. Have an hour for reading. And I don’t mean read comic books. Read something that will make you know what’s happening.. So when you get into a conversation you can sound intelligent, even if you aren’t!”
They Don’t Care About Gossip
This is unanimous among my male friends. They don’t want to hear about your reality shows. They don’t care what your one friend said to another. They like to talk to you about what interests you, but its nice sometimes to discuss things you both have a common interest in. If gossip is important to you then sometimes he will have to listen, but if gossip is not equally important to him try to engage in topics to matter to him also. Even if one partner is interested in something that another partner may not be familiar with it can be exciting! This is a great opportunity to learn something new. Having your partner teach you something new can be exciting. I dated a guy once and he loved Afrobeats music. I am no longer dating the guy, but I have a new found interest which I absolutely love!
Your Being Fat Is Not Is Not As Unattractive As Your Putting Yourself Down and Seeking Validation
Ok…so you put on some weight. You can lose the weight. There are some things that will make you sexy even if you are not at your desired weight. Crying about being overweight is not one of those things. I can understand feeling bad about yourself and wanting validation from your partner that they still find you attractive, but the most unattractive thing that anybody can ever do is to not be sure of themselves. You look good and you gotta know that! More importantly, you are still who you were before!
They Can Love You And Play The Game.
Some men like to unwind by playing video games. Many women hate this. I am included in the many women who hate this. It seems like a waste of time to me. We hate this because you can’t spend millions of hours playing games and not talking to us. A friend of mine even said “I’m in the house! It’s not like I’m out cheating! What’s the big deal!” I explained to this friend that the issue is you can’t allow the video game to become a barrier in your relationship. I say… go and play the game with him. Maybe if you spend time sharing his hobbies with him he will be more interested in sharing his hobbies with you!
The moral of the story is communicate! If you don’t say what you mean, and mean what you say, then no one will know what you meant or what you want. It can be hard for us to convey our feelings into words, but we must try.