The “F” Word

The “F” word is the word that no one is supposed to say. It makes people uncomfortable.  People assume it means you are hateful and you want to exalt your power over others the word is feminism. Often you will hear people say “Why don’t you just call it something else?” or “I don’t like it.  It’s for man hating”

People say the same thing about the Black Lives Matter Movement.  Of course all lives matter and all lives are precious, but the movement is called such because it is highlighting the struggles of an oppressed group.  The feminist movement is the same way.  The title is highlighting the struggles of the woman. 

I hear both men and women say things that I find very ignorant about the movement I decided to ask some of my male friends what they thought about it (because I was pretty sure that the hatred and negative views were due to ignorance.)  I have given my friends fake names.  I just wanted to see what knowledge did people have about the topic and what were people’s views

First Interview: Tom

How would you define feminism?

A system designed to hold back the divine feminine of black women.

Do you feel like black women in America have a separate struggle from men?

I believe so. I believe y’all struggle is as critical.  It’s so critical that it keeps us divided.

Do you feel like the black men are part of the black woman’s struggle? 

I don’t think so. I think its miscommunication, not the fact that black men are a part of the struggle. I have never heard of men being part of a black women’s struggle.

Do you know what misogynoir is?

No. What is it?

Do you know what intersectionality is?

No.  What is it?

Misogynoir is misogyny directed toward black women where both race and gender play a role.  Intersectionality is when two things overlapping are the cause of discrimination.  If someone were to discriminate on a person because they were both disabled and black then the two are intersecting and causing the discrimination.

Do you think that the women’s movement is harmful in any way?

Yes it’s harmful to the foundation of the black family

How?

They are trying to be on the level as the man.  They hate the man.

What is being equal?

Not wanting to be confined to gender roles.

Should you be confined to gender roles?

Yes I should.

So you think men should be providers?

No I think it should be a common goal.

Providing is a gender role society sets for men though, so how is that particular role supposed to be for the both of you?

I don’t want a partner who is deficient in equality.

Have you ever listened to a feminist talk, researched any feminist ideas, or even heard anything from Angela Davis?

No

If you only study something from one side you will only have a one sided view.

All it does is help y’all? Y’all are at the peak of y’all social ladder.  Y’all already talking about y’all don’t want to date down.

Do you think that the feminist movement helps men in any way?

No. I don’t think it’s designed to help no man

I told my friend that people should listen to both views on a topic to make a decision.  If the racist only listens to things that are sustaining their views, they will not understand the wrong in their views. In the same way, only watching things that discard the women’s movement will not help you to understand the women’s movement.  You may read something and have the same exact view when you are done, but at least hear both sides of the story before you condemn someone’s struggle.

Second Interview: Jack

How would you define feminism?

I really don’t know what it is.  I don’t know how to put it into words.

If you had to try to name the attributes of feminism that you are somewhat familiar with what would you say about feminism?

It’s basically like “I don’t need a man for nothing” I don’t think anything is wrong with feminism.

How can you be sure if you don’t know what it is?  Were you ever curious enough to google it? Why didn’t you care to know what it was?

I care about police brutality.

We all want for our plight to be heard, but not the plight of another.  I care about police brutality.  I also care about equality of the sexes.  We all want to be understood but where is the understanding for another type of struggle.  I appreciated this answer because he was very honest about not knowing what it was and not caring what it was.

Third Interview: Louis

How would you define feminism?

Parasitic

Do you feel like black women in America have a separate struggle from men? Yes. I believe it is not the same.

What do you think is different about it?

The black woman is told she doesn’t need a man and she can succeed on her own.  That gives division of black women and men.

Do you feel like the black men are part of the black woman’s struggle?

Yes, the lack thereof.   Men are not taught to value self.  Men don’t give themselves self-love.

Do you know what misogynoir is?

No

Do you know what intersectionality is?

No.  What is it? I have never heard these terms

Misogynoir is misogyny directed toward black women where both race and gender play a role.  Intersectionality is when two things overlapping are the cause of discrimination.  If someone were to discriminate on a person because they were both poor and black then the two are intersecting and causing the discrimination.

Do you think that the women’s movement is harmful in any way? I don’t know. From my limited, understanding I don’t see anything wrong with women loving themselves but some of them are channeling the men out.

Fourth Interview: Virgil

How would you define feminism?

I don’t know.

Do you feel like black women in America have a separate struggle from men?

Yes.  The pay gap is a problem.  Women also have to worry more about sexual harassment in the workplace.

Do you feel like the black men are part of the black woman’s struggle? 

There are some black men who don’t like black women at all. There are a lot of black dudes who can’t handle being with a woman who challenges them.  They want that person to be a slave to them which I feel would be a struggle for black women.

Do you know what misogynoir is?

No. What is it?

Do you know what intersectionality is?

No.  What is it?

Misogynoir is misogyny directed toward black women where both race and gender play a role.  Intersectionality is when two things overlapping are the cause of discrimination.  If someone were to discriminate on a person because they were both disabled and black then the two are intersecting and causing the discrimination.

Do you think that the women’s movement is harmful in any way?

No

Have you ever listened to a feminist talk or researched any feminist ideas?

No

I wanted to interview women also but I was unable to. I want to thank the men for being so open and ready to be honest. I don’t think the issue is men not having an understanding of what the feminist movement is, but people as a whole making up ideas about topics they haven’t researched. Whether you choose to agree with something or not it is always best to make an educated decision. We all want our plights to be heard, but just as we want to be heard we have to hear each other.

Here is a video from Jubilee on YouTube that you might if you want to see men and women debate whether or not they are in favor of feminism! https://youtu.be/hOUGNGWmN0k

4 Comments Add yours

  1. George says:

    Wow thank you for this and the education.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aja says:

      Thank you so much for reading and for being open minded ❗️

      Like

  2. MikaMajor says:

    EXCELLENT POST! It pissed me off and made me rethink some things. Unfortunately, feminism will always get a bad rap because women are still fighting for equality as human friggin beings. A lot of men but not all still see us as the weaker, they say they want an even playing field but when the field levels out or attempts to they fold for many reasons. Honestly, as women, we have to shoulder some of the burden because some of us send mixed messages and confuse the masses. We need to come to the table with our stuff and work it out. Feminism, black or otherwise was born because of the discrimination that women faced and decades later we are still facing it and its getting worst. We aren’t safe in our own communities with our own men and we certainly aren’t safe nor welcomed on the other side. Great post. Keep them coming!

    Like

    1. Aja says:

      Thank you so much! I hope that as time goes on people will really start to see this❗️❗️❗️

      Like

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