Have you ever been in love or were you in lust? How can you tell the difference? Is the feeling of love the same for everyone? Some people aren’t in love or lust. Are some people in convenience? I’ll tell you my take on all three.
These days I try not to deal with people who want to use me for convenience, but I know the signs very well because I have seen people do it. I have had people tell me about instances in which their partner is wanting something from them.
It is my belief that if you really want to know if someone cares for you, don’t give them anything and see how long they stick around.
When a person is not meeting you halfway, wanting you to pick up the slack, and asking you for help upfront they are trying to use you. I’m my mind I think… something in your gut has to be telling you that if you didn’t have that reliable transportation and couldn’t live with you he wouldn’t be there. I would think that being on edge about whether or not you have enough resources to provide someone in order for them to say in your life would be stressful.
Lust is the most confusing to me. I have been in lust. The best way I could describe the feeling is feeling very anxious and nervous without the person, and when they are around feeling instant relief. It’s almost like you have an addiction to the person.
Watching tv, listening to music, and hearing stories about fairytale love in media will make you think that this magnetic indescribable animal attraction is love. That can be a part of love, but I don’t think that it is love on it’s own. I also think that people confuse lust for love because if you are in lust enough then it can turn into loyalty.
People think love is that idea that I would do anything and everything for this person, but ask yourself…Is it because of my own selfish want of self-gratification?
I believe this is why my father told me to ask people what they mean when they say they love you, because different people mean different things when they say it. I would argue that doing anything for a person doesn’t necessarily mean that you love them. Feeling like you need them as a fiend needs a hit is not loving them.
I think that love is so many things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV says that
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
The first part says that love is patient. I feel that being in love takes compromise and that is the patience. I feel it should be patience on both parts though. Patience is not the he is stringing me along situation. Patience is not I have to always compromise for this person and they don’t.
Love is kind. When you fight it is very easy to be mean. It is very easy to say the worst thing that you can say to hurt someone, but when you love someone you don’t say things to try to hurt and manipulate them on purpose. We all have things that would cut us deep. Those are the things that someone who loves you would leave alone.
When you are trying to be better than or upstage your partner (or anyone for that matter) that is not loving. It’s supposed to be a team effort. If you are really one in spirit then the success of one is the same as the success of another.
Some things are so wrong that you have to leave, but if you stay don’t keep that record. Don’t keep throwing it in the person’s face. This goes back to my thoughts about being mean. If it’s over go forward if you can.
Love rejoices in truth! I need to feel like I can trust who I love. To me, love is a very comfortable feeling of trust. Trust is so important.
I can go on as the passage goes on, but I wanted to show you what my friend’s husband had to say about his love for my friend. They have been married for ten years. This is love. This is not just lust. This is being a team
The moral of the story is love is an action it’s never a thought. If you think you’re in love then you probably are not. You will know it by the actions more so than just the feelings. Feelings change, but you know the tree by the fruit