Negative Projections

Projection happens when people try to mirror their inner conflicts on to you. It happens all the time. When I say all the time I mean all the time. It’s a way a person defends themselves and attributes the traits that they are secretly unhappy about in themselves onto you.

I wasn’t always so cognizant of what was happening when people were projecting negativity onto me. Spiritually it feels like your being a punching bag for something that you didn’t deserve.  I noticed it coming from every angle and didn’t know how to stop it.

Ironically, it doesn’t matter if a person has less than you or more than you. It doesn’t matter if they have beauty or not. It doesn’t matter if they have money or not. All that matters is that they perceive you to have one thing that they don’t… happiness.

That friend who asks you about your relationship hoping to hear something bad, but is getting cheated on might start reflecting that negativity onto you. She knows she is getting cheated on, but she doesn’t think you know. She doesn’t want you to have a better relationship so she tries to put doubt in your mind.

That person who is going on and on about their wealth and how you are struggling probably doesn’t like their job, but they want you to feel inferior to them in some way the way they feel inferior. They want you to envy their money while all the while they envy your peace.

That friend who goes on and on about not wanting a baby and how awful babies are wants you to feel bad for having the family that they can’t have. They want you to feel like you have made a huge mistake. They want you to envy their life because they envy yours.

How to Deal

The first thing to remember about people projecting their negativity on to you is that it isn’t personal. Close friends will do it without knowing, and if they do know they hope you
don’t. Some people will do it knowingly, but it takes a person who is making a conscious effort to be spiritually mature and responsible to know what is happening.

When I say spiritually mature and responsible I mean the person who prays, meditates, does self reflection, and/or uses their spiritual journey as a mirror to always be improving themselves. That religion or spirituality that has you correcting everyone and judging everyone but yourself is not of The Creator. Faith of any kind is suppose to edifying to your own behavior first and foremost.

If a person is not self reflective chances are they will blame everyone for everything that is happening in their lives. People think that bad things are always happening to them. Many of the things that go on in our lives are not happening to us, but as a result of decisions that we have consciously made. It’s hard work taking a long look at yourself on a regular bases asking yourself how you can improve. In any interaction we have to be mindful not to try to use projection to avoid what is troubling us.

The second thing to know is that something doesn’t have to be intentional to be harmful. I use to struggle rationalizing that because a person didn’t mean me any intentional harm, I should keep them in my life. This is a huge mistake. Unintentional harm is still harm. Your mind may know the difference, but do you want to keep bringing your heart and soul into situations to take an emotional beating?


I think one of the highest frequencies to vibrate on is a level of understanding that it isn’t about a spiritual hierarchy. In my opinion, “vibrating high” is partially an understanding that vibrating low is not something to condemn. You have to be low to elevate. It means that you have had the privilege to grow into a deeper level of understanding and self reflection.

However, none of that means that you have to grow in my space and at my expense. I can pray for you or send you the best well wishes and protect myself. You have to put yourself around people and things that encourage your growth. Let go of things and people who are not healthy for your own mental safety.

Lastly, some will say put yourself in their place. Let it go. I disagree. I say I can rationalize your place in my mental state, and I can feel deep empathy for you, but I can’t allow my understanding of your emotional trauma become my own.

It is my belief that mentally strong people are more likely to be projected onto. I believe this is because on a subconscious level, your happiness is viewed as a strength that means you can take it. What’s the harm? You’re happy anyway right?

The moral of the story is you don’t have to be anyone’s punching bag mentally if physically. It doesn’t matter if they mean it or not. It doesn’t matter if they know it or not. It doesn’t matter if this is the release they need for their jealous of you. Surround yourself with people who are aware of their intrinsic value.

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